sasscameron:

how to open a water bottle with matt cameron

1. discreetly open bottle as to not distract others

2. drink tiniest, most insignificant sip from bottle

3. tighten lid on bottle as tightly as humanly fucking possible and place at the corner of table, out of the way

4. become suddenly very thirsty again

5. remove lid from bottle

6. remove lid from bottle

7. remove lid from bottle

8. listen intently to bottle, change grip

9. put muscle into bottle

10. question god

11. question bottle

12. question self, spend some time away from bottle

13. question bottle again

14. “might do it”

15. “might make it”

16. blame bottle, show bottle you don’t appreciate it’s triflin’ ass ways. stare bitterly at bottle until it knows what it did was wrong. (this lasts about twenty whole seconds in the video, mind you)

17. contemplate relationship with bottle, reassess need for bottle in your life

18. give bottle passive-aggressive silent treatment. ignore bottle. go separate ways.